My Judge

Will you judge me if I cry

when I see you walk away

after you bid me goodbye?

or will you wipe my tears away

and say " Big boys don't cry!"

Will you judge me if I hold your hand

and plead you to stay a little longer?

Will you judge me if I confessed

that I could never say the things I always wanted to say

only because I feared that your memories would haunt me forever?

Will you judge me if I said

that I wish we had met in a different place as different people?

Will you judge me if I said that the promises we make

will never stand the test of time?

For as time moves on so will we...

Will you judge me if I ask

if we can have a cup of coffee together for one last time?

Will you judge me when I am not there

to wish you farewell?
Not because I don't care,

but because watching you go

will make life seem unfair.

Hey, Khuda Hafiz !

There is a reason why they call it the "Corporate World". It is a parallel world we live in, a world where we enter as adults yet begin our career with baby steps. We stumble, we fall, we try to run before we learn to walk, we skin our knees while trying to get ahead of ourselves. Starting a career is much like learning to ride a bicycle when we were kids, we were scared of the fall, we would often ground our legs to support when we felt that we were about to tumble, and in the process we would struggle to complete the pedal. But when we had that guiding hand supporting us we knew nothing could go wrong, we knew we were not going to fall. That hand would hold on to our seat tight urging us to go for the complete pedal, assuring us that nothing would happen to us. That hand gave us the freedom to pedal faster, that hand held us from falling to the ground, that hand gave us a belief that we will reach the last mile.

A good boss is like that hand which guides the bicycle, they give you the freedom to dream bigger, the will to pedal faster. They hold you from falling to the ground, and if you do fall to the ground they always lend you their hand to pull you back to your feet. And when you are confident enough to cycle without using that support, they slowly but surely withdraw their hand and stand their ground watching you ride away into the sunset. They wave you a goodbye, indicating that their time has come, and you no longer need their support. You have finally learnt to ride the bicycle.

We feel the touch of such gentle hands in our corporate lives, hands that pat our back for a job well done, hands that point out the mistake we have done sternly but then ruffle our hair with a smile saying "It's alright, but don't repeat it again." We get used to these hands, we get used to their warmth, their feel, their support. And just when we feel that we have held on to these hands tight, they let go of us in search of a new life, in search of building a new innings, in search of a new hand to hold on to.

A college life is different from the corporate life for many reasons. The friends we make in college life come with a date stamp, we know that after three or four years we all would drift apart. Yes we do stay in touch, but things would not be like they were. The bonds we forge in college come with an expiration date labeled "Valid only upto three-four years". But what about the bonds forged in the corporate world? Bonds in corporate world don't come with a date stamp, you never know when those bonds will be broken. The face we are used to seeing at work one day may never turn up, they could be let go or they may move on to bigger and better things.

Life, as clichéd it may sound, is like a journey and we all are travelers. Yet while walking or cycling in search of our destination we find many such co-passengers who travel along with us. They come in all different designations, they come as a friend,  as a lover, as a colleague...... as a boss. They have their own journeys to complete, their own road to travel, yet there comes a point of time where our paths intersect at a junction and we travel together until we come across a different intersection and part ways. And in this short journey we share our laughs, our dreams, our fears, our hopes, our care and our love.  Yes, today I may be sounding philosophical and not myself. But when you are on the verge of saying goodbye to that friend, that boss and that guiding hand like I am, you end up using such clichéd comparisons. 

She managed around twenty-five boorish brats, brats whom she treated like her kids. We were a bunch of guys and girls of all ages ranging between early twenties to late twenties, each different from one another, some were volatile and some were dormant. Some talked to the dozen and some rarely uttered a word. Some made a lot of sense when they talked, and some made none. Some were smart and some were as slow as a snail. But none of this mattered to her, for her we all were equals. She was always the first one to praise us for a job well done, and the first one to defend us when things went wrong. In all the mess-ups that I and the rest of my colleagues had done so far none of us could have heard her say "It's your fault". Instead we would hear "The mistake has been made, lets find a way to prevent it". 

As she is spending her last days amongst us, we are still trying to come to terms with the fact on how would we spend the rest of our days knowing that she will never walk through that door with a spring in her steps greeting us with a cheerful "Good Morning guys!". No more would her infectious laugh reverberate through the halls, no more would we feel the touch of her arms on our shoulder telling us that "Tis too shall pass" when things go wrong, no more would she be there to share our juvenile fears and our ambitious dreams. We may promise each other that we will be in touch but deep within we know it wont be more than a couple of cursory "Hello and How are you?" on G-talk.

She was a friend, an elder sister, a guardian, a prankster, a believer, and at times a mother. When she walks out that door for one last time, she will leave us with a lump in our throats. But we will be happy for her, for she is beginning a new innings. Her absence will ache our hearts for a while. We would eventually learn to let go and get on with it, but these memories and the times we shared would always be imprinted in our hearts and minds wishing we had met anywhere but in the corridors of a corporate office. Someday when I look at the moments captured in camera, I with a wry smile on my face would look above and thank God for having made our paths cross. And I would thank her within my heart for having held on tight while I learnt to ride the bicycle.

The Social Network - Like it, Like that!

        "Drop the "the". Just "Facebook". It's cleaner." - Sean Parker

Every age has an important invention credited to its name. The Wheel is considered to be Man's first great invention and since the Stone Age our inventions have evolved along with man. The wheel, the steam engine, the telephone, the television, the computer, man's conquest of Space are few of the most influential inventions of our time. From the Stone Age to the present, the Digital Age, man has kept on coming up with innovations that leaves rest of the mankind wondering "What will he come up with next?". The Digital Age has revolutionized the way we do things. Transport and communication were the Early Man's biggest hindrances and as time had progressed man not only addressed the problem, but had also come up with better solutions. From E-mail to Facebook the Digital Age has presented us ways in which we never thought communication could be possible. David Fincher's latest offering sheds some light on how this age's current phenomenon Facebook came into being.

Every battle has a story to tell. There is a victor and there is a vanquished. You win some you lose some, and success always comes with a price. David Fincher has masterfully woven a story of how two best friends become bitter enemies while fighting for the only thing they had put their heart and soul into - Facebook. Based on Ben Mezrich's "The Accidental Billionaires" TSN is a faithful adaptation of the book thanks to some great writing by Aaron Sorkin (A Few Good Men). The movie may seem to be tailor-made for the younger audience who are more into Facebook, but in the end it is just a simple story of the price one has to pay for chasing their dreams. The movie begins with how an enraged Mark Zuckerberg (Jesse Eisenberg) in his drunken stupor comes up with an idea for a website used to rate women on his campus after he is snubbed by Erica Albright (Rooney Mara) for being self centered. Needless to say he earns the ire of all the women in the campus and is punished with a six month probationary period for his shenanigans. His genius is spotted by the Winkelvoss twins, Cameron and Tyler (Armie Hammer) who later approach him for helping them out with their own social website. What follows is how Zuckerberg uses their own idea and creates Facebook only to be later sued for Intellectual Property theft.

Had the movie been directed by someone else it may have ended as a court-room drama. But Fincher who in his impressive resume has Fight Club, Se7en, Zodiac, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button which are prime examples of how a story should be told, continues his skillful past-to-the-present story telling in TSN where the story shuttles from the time to how Facebook was born to the lawsuit hearings within the closed doors. The actors, none of whom belong to the A-list category are well utilized and make the characters seem real thanks to the brilliant dialogues and solid direction. They say an actor is only as good as his director, and with a man like David Fincher at the helm one feels that he can even make a stone emote. You can only wonder why David Fincher still has the illustrious Oscar evading him. Jesse Eisenberg as the arrogant, socially awkward yet brilliant Zuckerberg does a great job, Andrew Garfield as Eduardo Suaverin is a dynamite! He plays Zuckenberg's best friend and the initial investor during the conception of Facebook. Watch out for the confrontation scene between him and Zuckerberg at the Facebook office. Armie Hammer plays two different roles commendably as the Winkelvoss twins, one the hot headed twin seeking vengeance, and the other willing to forgive. Justin Timberlake is a natural as the charming and smooth talking Sean Parker, the founder of Napster who takes the Parker-worshippping Zuckerberg under his wings and provides Facebook with the contacts and the investment much to Suaverin's chagrin.

The Social Network may leave us debating whether what Zuckerberg did was ethical. Was it right on his part to use the idea of someone else to his own benefit? Was it right on his part to cut off his friend and initial investor Eduardo Suaverin, the book and the movie portray him as a man who was not obsessed with money and fame. After all Zuckerberg had once said "No" to an offer from Microsoft. Judging a 25-year old self made billionaire just by a book and a movie may not be right. Zuckerberg may not have come out clean after the lawsuit but we cannot ignore the fact that Facebook is one of the most influential innovations of this age. The movie posters brand Zuckerberg as a Punk, a Genius, a Traitor, a Prophet, and a Billionaire. By the time movie ends we know Fincher has shown us all these facets of Zuckerberg.

Contrary to what many people may say TSN is not an inspiring movie. It does not have any moment of inspiration which will make you feel uplifted. It tells the story of how two friends in an endeavor to connect the world got disconnected themselves. Fincher's screenplay and direction are the highlights of the movie but by the time the end credits roll you know that David Fincher has given us much better movies.

Down But Not Out

The whole universe revolves around the sun, this was a fact we had learnt way back in school. Have you ever imagined what would happen if the sun went down and never came back? The whole universe would be engulfed in darkness, there would be no light at the end of the tunnel. That expression would hold no good because there would be no sun at all. Life would come to a standstill, chaos would reign supreme, bedlam would ensue. Sun, as they say is the source of all energy. 

An office server is pretty much like the sun, it is the source of all energy. The whole office in a way revolves around the server. The functionality of our machines and the functionality of us machines who man those machines depends on the smooth operation of the server. "Server Problem" is the most frequent term thrown around in offices whenever you need a valid excuse for a slackened pace at work and when there is a server problem for real, pretty much what was mentioned in the previous paragraph happens: 

Life would come to a standstill, chaos would reign supreme, bedlam would ensue.

Bedlam did ensue when a server problem occurred. Work came to a grinding halt as computer screens froze, refusing to start up. Desktops would not get loaded, people got logged out of G-talk and various other means of online communication, the bright icon of Outlook Explorer at the taskbar turned to a sober gray indicating that it had crashed. When all work had come to a standstill the workaholic Jack loosened his tie, rolled up his sleeves and started to play. The workaholics thronged the office pantry for a cup of coffee and more people decided to take an early lunch and the table tennis room was crammed with employees eager to exhibit their TT skills. Rumors spread like wildfire in the office corridors of how they would let off people home if the server problem persisted. Seasoned employees with the zest of a battle scarred war veteran recounted an instance of how the management had once asked the employees to go home when a server problem seemed to have gone out of control.

Ten minutes had gone by.... Fifteen passed and before you knew it, half an hour had passed and there were no signs of the server returning. "Network Connection Timed Out" screamed Firefox as connecting to the internet had become impossible. It was as if time did a rewind to the Stone Age, the smartly suited professional employees were reduced to neanderthals in jeans and office wear. Even a status update of the current situation on Facebook seemed a distant dream. The office had become an asylum with nothing-to-do employees on the loose, soon the floor echoed with laughter and screams, pranks were played, people who usually roamed the office with a zombie like expression on their face pranced the corridor with a spring in their steps as if they had won the lottery. Faces which were buried deep into their laptops popped up from the cubicles like a Jack-in-the-box, pinching themselves wondering if it was a dream.

There were a few who refused to live in the present but started to plan for the future 

"Once the server is up and running I will have to multi-task" one rued.

"Think positive man!, lets hope the server never comes back!" another one declared.

Every one had that million dollar question on their minds: "When will the server be back?"

"Its back! the server is back!" shrieked someone with terror.

The laughter ceased, the brightly lit faces were eclipsed with a pall of gloom, and there was a collective groan in the corridor as the employees got back to work.

Adult Rated

Family reunions happen few and far between, and in this day and age when distances have been bridged through mobile phones, highways, Twitter, Facebook and e-mail on the go, one has this feeling that they are never far from friends and family. But yet, nothing can take away the feeling of meeting your near and dear ones in the flesh. It’s always nice to hear them talk in person than to read their email or status updates. But in this fast paced world where everything happens at a maniacal speed and when our calendars are crammed with exams, meetings and office trips, we seldom get time to meet and greet each other.

So after ages when the family decided to come together for the festive season it was decided that we would catch up far away from the maddening crowd than in the hustle and bustle of the Big Bad Mad city. We landed up in the heart of the hills where even the sun had gone for a quick vacation. There was greenery as far as our eyes could see, the fresh mountain air energized our bones, the flowing stream took all our worries along with it and time crawled at a leisurely pace. Diwali was celebrated in a much simpler way than it usually was, but this time we had more people to share the joy with.

I was born in the mid 80’s while my cousins had their birth dates scattered all over the 90’s. I had a conflict within me as to which group did I belong to now, was I still a boy or have I grown into an adult? (No matter how much I hated it). I preferred to hang out with the kids more because I could relate myself to what they have been through - with exams, friends and the banter on boyfriends and girlfriends. Being the eldest amongst the cousins came with its own share of responsibilities such as keeping them entertained with clean humor, coming up with games to keep them occupied and to ensure that it was played fair and square (something which I am not associated with) and to watch out that they did not get into any sort of trouble while going about their monkey business. It also involved playing the role of a censor board although the kids showed immense maturity while viewing Kill Bill, which I later realized was a bad idea. Their ages ranged from 9 to 19. A few of them were in school, a few of them in college, some had just reached their teens and some were on the verge of completing it. They had their own opinion on everything that ranged from the existence of God to that of Friendship and Love. Their level headed opinion on these subjects could only make me wonder on why I was trying to be the “Big Brother” who told them what was right and what was wrong? Was it because I felt like the senior statesman among these young dynamic characters? Or was I convinced that they were not capable of handling themselves? Or is it because I felt that I had been brought up in a different time? Or was it my bearded look that made me feel old and wizened. Twenty-four is not old you know…... Or is it? 

Or is it because that I have started going to a job that I have been injected with this false sense of adulthood? I have a bank account and an ATM card, I have meetings at the office, I invest in mutual funds, I can watch “A” rated movies at the theatre, I use my own money to buy the things that I want, I wear American Khakis instead of jeans, I can put off plans with others using excuses such as “office work” and not “home work”. So does all this make me an adult? While I spent time with these kids or should I say ‘adolescents’, I realized that adulthood is not about the job I do, the cards I own, the bank accounts I have, the clothes I wear, the people I know. These are just those adulterated ingredients that make us feel like an adult . In all honesty, I still could not define "an adult". Is it the ability to think for oneself while making decisions? If that is the case then haven’t we all leaned on our friends and family for their advice? Maybe adulthood is a lengthy process that has no full stop, there are no limits to growing up and we have to go through a lot and learn a lot before we can be termed as "an adult". Till then we are just a bunch of men and women trying to grow up and be young at the same time.