Purani Jeans

“Hello there!”

“What do you want?”

“Wow, somebody seems to be in a bad mood”

“I lost a pair of jeans on the trip”

“Big deal, what’s the point of going on a trip if you haven’t lost anything during one? That way the trip becomes more memorable”

“These are very costly jeans I am talking about, they must have cost 1500/- each ! You cannot expect me to be cool about losing a pair of jeans.”

“When did you realize that you lost them?”

“On my way back, yesterday on the train when I was going through my bag.”

“So you have been pissed for a day then?”

“Yeah”

“To spend a whole day feeling sorry for a pair of jeans is a bit too much, people get over failed relationships within a day.”

“Nobody gets over failed relationships within a day, you’re just exaggerating!“

“All I am saying is that fretting over some jeans is not worth it. When did you buy it?”

“It’s been around for a little more than two years.”

“Any commodity that has been around for a longer time loses its value, it’s called depreciation. Look it’s pretty much like being in a marriage, the initial few weeks you would want to go home early and have those candle light dinners, cuddle up in the couch watching TV and have sex with music playing in the background, the novelty will be there. But after that everything becomes like a routine…. You would prefer staying at work, nothing excites you anymore, it all becomes just as mechanical as taking that jean from your cupboard and wearing it.”

“Where did you learn about defecation?”

“Its depreciation and I learned that in Economics….. or was it Accounts? I dunno, they all sounded the same to me back then.”

“Those jeans have been around for two years.”

 “Then assuming that you have worn it twice every week…. So for close to 96 weeks you might have worn it atleast uhhh two hundred times… and assuming that one jean costs 1500/- with each time you wear it, its value too slowly starts fading away like the jean, uhhh and then there are the occasional wear and tear, and with you not washing it frequently it might have lost some of its sheen…. So in a way you might have ended up using it for more than what it was worth! Its time was up anyway. So don’t bother and buy a new pair! Hell I will buy you a new pair of jeans. What are big brothers for!”

“Buying away a replacement is not a way of washing my hands of the guilt, what if Dad comes to know about it? If I can’t even keep my clothes safe how would I be entrusted with a Macbook?”

“Whoa! Dad is buying you a Macbook!?”

“That is not the point! I was being hypothetical. All I am saying is that I need to take up responsibility for the things I do.”

“You have a long time ahead of you to take responsibilities, mistakes happen, you need to learnt to let go of materials, invest more emotions in people, you need to–“

“They were your jeans…”

“What?”

“They were yours, it was lying around useless, and you weren’t using them so I had been using it.”

“How did you know that I was not using them? I could have been using them. For all you know I could have worn it tonight!”

“They were too tight for you after your waist size had increased by a few inches.”

“I did not get fat….”

“I am not saying that you got fat…. It’s just that as you grow older your appetite increases and all that you eat tends to get accumulated on your waist that’s all.”

“I still could have pulled off those jeans.”

“Yeah, right.”

“You were not supposed to take my jeans without my permission.”

“Look who is getting all wound up over a pair of jeans now. I thought I was supposed to 

“let go of materials and invest more emotions in people”.  Wasn’t that your mantra for life?”

“That was my mantra for getting through adolescence, people will disappoint you at some point of time, you will learn that sometime, it is then that you attach yourself to material pleasures!”

“Well, do you mind imparting your wisdom as we shop for a pair of jeans, what say?”