The Art of Sending Friend Requests

Timing plays an essential part in our lives, be it the timing to punch the ball through the covers, or the comic timing to crack a joke to diffuse a situation, or the timing to pop up that question to the woman we love– “Will you please return the money you borrowed from me?” Timing is also a very crucial factor in sending friend requests to pretty women online­, something which I had learnt the hard way over the years. One has to build a proper rapport with a woman before clicking that “Add as friend” tab on Facebook. And by “proper rapport” I mean one has to make themselves aware of their existence to the woman they plan to add as a friend. There are the subtle ways of making your presence felt, it ranges from clearing your throat to cracking bad jokes, to cussing and swearing out loud, to burping out loud while you eat. The traditional way to get a woman’s attention would be to speak sense, but since we live in an age where movies on vampires and werewolves make women weak in the knees, I am throwing “Speaking sense” out of the window.

I had gotten into an awkward situation while I was on one of my routines of browsing through profiles of random women online (which apparently is termed as online stalking) while speaking over the phone. As I was surfing I came across the profile of a girl who shared a few mutual friends with me at work. I was in one of those zoned out states where neither was I aware of the prolonged conversation going on the other end, nor of the buttons I had been clicking on the website while browsing. Straying between the virtual and the present, I clicked the “Add as friend” tab absent mindedly.

There were no confirmation messages like ”Would you really like to add this person as a friend?” 

Or “Are you really really sure that you want to add her as your friend?”

Or “She is way too hot for you, think again, she might not accept it!”

There were no messages or warnings that would have broken me from my stupor. The next few minutes were spent contemplating whether the request should be revoked or not.

It’s just a friend request, why think too much over it? Getting my request rejected is not the end of the world ….

amiright?

 

AmIRight? 

AM I RIGHT?

AM I RIGHT!?!? 

WRONG!

Have you ever sent a friend request to a person you thought you knew, only to realize that they had rejected it because they do not consider catching you ogling at them as “Knowing”? Getting your Friend Request turned down is the virtual equivalent of a slap on the face, and the worst part is that you cannot slap them back. They finally have the last laugh by turning you down, and you go to bed wondering why they did it.

“The server must have been down when she clicked accept, and it must have gotten so slow that "accept" would have changed to "reject""

“She must have clicked ‘reject’ by mistake”

“May be it was her father browsing her account and he found me to be a threat since I am such a potential boyfriend material for her daughter because of my handsome looks.”

Your pride is wounded and you wouldn’t even know why. If you were a man with some self respect, you  wouldn’t go to them and say with a sheepish grin “Hey, I sent you a friend request which I think you rejected by mistake. I will send you one later, just accept it ok?”

After pondering over the scenario for a good fifteen minutes, whilst responding to the conversation happening on the phone with “Hmmm… uh huh.. ok… wow”  (in no particular order) I had decided to withdraw the friend request, thus nipping in the bud any potential chance for any of those awkward moments that may occur when I bump into her in the office. But later it dawned on me that what if she could have accepted it? 

What if she is not fussy like the other women there who accept you as their friend only after they are fully sure that you speak to them without looking at their chest?

What if she was like that punch line which every girl tells her boyfriend when he tries to make a move on her? 

“I am not like other girls.”

What if she was not like other girls?

Or what if she was online and had been wondering whether to add me?

What if the Universe had given me a sign and I had just shown it a middlefinger ?

Had I acted in haste by taking back the friend request?

Should I send the request back again?

Does this post make any more sense?

Do you even care anymore?

Are you still reading this post?

Maybe I should stop.