Saturday, June 1, 2013

I am No Adonis

Over the past few days something strange has been happening, something that has hasn’t happened in my 26 years of existence. I’ve been getting compliments. Not for my blog, neither for my intelligence (“What intelligence?” you may ask), but when I look at myself in the mirror, I see myself staring at what has now become my most prized asset that has been getting me praises from all corners–My body.

Yes dear reader, I am told that I have a fine body. I am no Adonis let me tell you that, I guess I just have the curves at the right place, and they have become so visible that they are aching to rip out off my shirt. My current physical state has taken most of my family and friends by surprise, so much so that one of my cousins who hadn’t seen me in a long time asked:

“What the hell, are you wearing a bra under your t-shirt?” pointing at my expanded chest.

“Oh no no, I’ve just been spending some time at the gym” I said nonchalantly.

It feels good to be complimented for something on which you have been working on for quite a while. A good body can actually uplift your confidence by a few notches. The other day, I even walked over to a girl in the office pantry whom I had been looking at for close to six months now, and with the confidence of a Eureka Forbes salesman said to her:

“Could you pass me those sugar packets please?”

As she handed me the sugar packets, I casually stretched my arms like I were warming up to lift her off the floor, hoping she would notice my biceps and fall for my manly exterior whilst not taking my receding hairline into account.

“I prefer green tea in the morning you know, had a tough work-out session at the gym. Nothing like some green tea to relax those muscles.” I said while stirring my tea.

I turned to ask if she were a coffee drinker, only to see that she was long gone. Thankfully, no one was around to see me talking to myself.

Anyway, that wasn’t the point I was trying to make. My point is that a good healthy body makes you confident enough to take on the world. Let’s face it, we have no control over our looks, we can apply all those creams, get all those facials done at Naturals, apply herbs and drink cow piss to make our faces glow in the dark, apply all kinds of hair oil to make our roots grow strong hoping the lost hair grows back again, but seldom do we get the results we want. So busy are we focusing on the top part of our body that we forget about what is below the neck. Well hello! Your face and hair only take up like 30% of your entire appearance; you have your arms, legs, torso, and butt to look after.

Well, there are times when I am reminded of all that is above my neck and everything that’s wrong with it, but then I change the topic by saying “That and all is okay, but you wanna feel my biceps ah?”

Over the past few weeks compliments have ranged from “You look so fit” to “You should start riding the bullet to suit your physique”, hell, I even know a guy whose opening line to me always is “So, worked out yesterday?”. One of the reasons why I have increased my frequency of visits to the gym is so that I can always respond to that dude’s response in the affirmative.

I don’t believe in sleeping late into the morning during weekends anymore, my body clock wakes me up by 5.30 a.m. even on Saturdays and Sundays, I lie wide awake in my bed arguing whether to go to the gym on a weekend, or to just pull the covers and go back to sleep. But then, the image of Tom Hardy as Bane pops up into my head, and I get out of my bed.

It was tough getting any response from people from my blog so much so that I had considered quitting blogging, but you know what the blogosphere actually needs? A lean and fit looking blogger, who is not that bad to look at. Bloggers are stereotyped to be geeks who got nothing better to do than to sit at home and rant and rave about everything that’s going on in the world. Well, I am going to do all that, except that I can beat my fellow bloggers at an arm-wrestling match. Ooh, you know what else the internet needs? A well-built blogger who can play the tabla. Now if you’ll excuse me it’s time for me to do some pushups with one hand, while browsing for some tabla tutors with the other.

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