Monday, December 30, 2013

The Year That Was

There is something about the year end and the approach of a new year that lifts our spirits. We are brimming with Hope, the New Year is not going to be the same as the last year we promise ourselves, something is going to be different about it, things will change. There will be new beginnings, chapters will be closed, new chapters will be scripted, a new dawn will arise we tell ourselves. But deep within we know things will be the same, yet, we can’t stop gushing over the endless possibilities that a new year brings along with it.

2013 has been quite an eventful year, a great year for reading books(16 so far!), a decent year with the writing(I have two blogs in all!), although I am yet to steel myself and start writing that book that many of my friends have persuaded me to, it was also a year where I realized that I can do a decent job of making people laugh when given the stage. I've quite a lot to be thankful for. I've people who believe in me, people who feel that I can do better with my life, these are the people who egg me on to go on to take the leap while I doubt myself.  But when you are on the verge of taking that leap of faith, you can’t help but wonder “What if I fall?”. Well, even if we fall, we might at least plummet to the ground screaming our lungs out with a wide grin. It is necessary to embrace failure, it’s only when we fail big do we get a chance to enjoy true success when we attain it. This has been a year that has taught me to better have tried than to live with regrets wondering “What if?”.

This has been a year for falling in love, writhing in pain over it, and trying to fall out of it all over again, all the while trying to be happy with whatever little that I've been dealt with.

This has been a year for forging friendships, and a year for seeing some fledgling ones cut short. There always was the chance of holding on to whatever little that was slipping through my fingers, but so caught up I was in my own hubris that by the time I tried to mend all that I had broken, it was already too late. Time either strengthens relationships, or sours it, only we can choose the people who are worth fighting for, and go to any lengths to revive it, to save it. I am still learning, and who better to teach us about life, love and loss than our own friends, those great teachers. They become a part of our life, teach us something about ourselves, even when it ends on a bitter note we take a vital lesson from failed relationships. I am humbled and thankful for that.

This has been a year where I've been a victim of my own pettiness, my jealousies, my insecurities.  I am still trying to be a good person, I am still trying, This has a been a year of pains and gains, of broken heart and mended soul, of lost dreams and a new found hope, of self-doubt and self-discovery.

To all those have been a part of my life this year, thank you for being there. Thank you for the belief, thank you for the love. To those who aren't a part of it anymore because of my own doing, if you are reading this, I am glad for the good times we shared, you have taught me more about myself than you could imagine. I’m sorry for being an ass that I was. I may not be the finished product yet, but I am trying. To you dear reader, I wish you the very best that life has to offer.

I leave 2013 a little more mature, a little more grounded, and head into 2014 a little more wiser, zinda hoon yaar, kaafi hai. I cannot wait to meet the people that life has in store for me, I cannot wait to see where Life would take me, and I cannot wait to learn more about myself. Bring on the New Year, I say, I just can’t wait!

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