The relationship between a Man and his Machine has always been something that’s hard to fathom, a Man dreams of being the machine which he rides. The roar of the engine unleashes the beast within him so much so that even a Roadside Ranga driving a TVS Victor will behave like a John Rambo. Bikes have always been a symbol of the macho Alpha Male in cinema, from the T-1000 in Terminator-2 to Madhavan in Run. Run not only transformed the image of chocolate boy Maddy to the no-nonsense ass kicker, it also made Bajaj Pulsar the stallion with which the love struck youth would woo their women. Movie stars around the globe have all used their machines with ruthless efficiency in winning their ladylove as well as kicking the bad guy’s ass with equal panache. The more intimidating the bikes, the better the chances of making the bad guy piss in his pants sooner. Bikes define the persona of the rider, it is always necessary that when you choose a bike it should match your persona, you really dun wanna look out of place when the bike you choose totally contradicts your personality. Imagine yours truly in a Pulsar with a helmet double the size of my head and you will know what Iam talking about.
Bikes have their own identity, some are the Bad- asses, some are the Wannabe Bad asses, some are the Cool Dudes, and some are just Cinderella’s carriage.
The Bad-asses: The Royal Enfields, the Harley Davidsons, the Bullets, these are the bad asses, The Godfather, the Don Corleone of Bikes. When they cruise the road you cannot help but watch them with your eyes wide and mouth wide open, they don’t vrrrooom these guys roar, they own the road. You need a lot of attitude to pull it off while riding this breed of bikes, you cant be a skinny assed fucker wearing “Attitude Rules” t-shirt trying to look cool, you need more than a t-shirt to match the power of this beast. I once had the chance of watching an Enfield and a Pulsar kick start at once and noticed this, while the Pulsar’s engine went “Vrrroooom” the Enfield’s thundered, it was as if Zeus himself had descended on Earth to tame this beast (The man driving it did look like Zeus himself). The sound of Pulsar’s engine drowned in front of the Enfield’s thunder, it was as if the Enfield was telling the adolescent Pulsar “Beta, tere bade kitne bhi ho jaaye, neeche hee rehte hain” (Son, no matter how big your balls are, they will always stay below your pecker).
The Wannabe Bad asses: the Pulsars, the Hero Hondas, the Yamahas fall in this category. They are the carriers of the adventurous ones, the ones with the raging hormones, the daredevils. You can see a lanky fella in every street chasing skirt with his Pulsar/ Yamaha trying to act cool. The same lanky fella throttles the accelerator with all his might when a damsel is in his pillion seat, who hugs him tight whenever the beast gathers speed, many a times this blogger has been a mute witness to such acts of “bravery” waiting for his time to come. But if speed is what thrills women, I shall save it for the bedroom. ;)
The Cool Dudes : These are the ones that are neither too girly nor too macho, the ones for the nerds, or those who look like nerds (I fall in this category), these are the ones for the mama’s boy types.The Honda Activa, the Deo belong to this range, the new age scooter. They look cool, but they are not the conventional Hamara Bajaj type Bajaj Scooters either. They look modern and hep and riding them does not mean you are a pussy, Jason Segel rode them in I Love You, Man and he couldn’t have looked cooler.
Cinderella’s carriage: The bikes from Scooty’s stables fall in this category, the faithful servant of the ladies. Many a times I have been in the pillion being driven all around the city by damsels who were kind enough to offer me a ride solving my problem of transport. Yes I shamelessly sat back and enjoyed the ride when they had the not-so-envious job of navigating through the traffic, they did a better job than I would have ever done, I salute you my lady friends. Made just for the ullagam sutrum pengal (the traveling women) the Scooty symbolizes freedom and women’s emancipation.
So, the next time you start your bike stop and listen, probably they are saying something more than just Vrrrooooooooommmm !!
Drive Safe y’all !!