I logged into my account to view a mail that said "One-on-one reminder". I skimmed through the mail which went :
Greetings from the Heavenly Chambers! Its that time of the year again, three years have gone by since your last session. Hoping to see you this time in the best of spirits. Meet me at jogger's park at 4 a.m this Saturday. We got a lot of catching up to do!
A short and sweet summon from the Big Man himself, we last met three years back when I was at the crossroads of life. I was plagued with questions about my future, I felt like a rudderless ship without any proper direction. And when I met Him back then, I got a rough picture of why Iam where Iam. I got an answer to my questions on what next to do, He did not advise me, He just said "Choose wisely, and give it your best shot". He politely declined when I asked him to foresee my future, "It takes the unpredictability away" He said. I was lonely back then, He just met me so that He could listen to my problems, I guess that's all you need- someone who not just hears you out but listens to you.
"How did He know that I needed someone to talk to?" I wondered. Well He's God after all, and He's been watching me.
I went to the park on a chilly and misty Saturday morning. He was there all dressed up in a Reebok Pullover and trousers to combat the ultra-cold morning listening to his I-Pod, he was Robert Deniro.
He does that every time we meet up, he comes as a movie star whom I worship, last time he was Edward Norton. He says that he doesn't have a real face, and that all the faces we mortals have pictured and painted and carved in stones and rock are just illusions- a part of our imagination and besides, "It helps you in opening up to someone who you look up to" he said. He waved His hand to me, and gave me a warm smile as I approached him. As I neared Him I could clearly see the words imprinted on his Pullover, "Iam Him" it said.
Me: "Iam Him"? Don't you think that you are trying to be too obvious, even for a guy of your stature?
He: This was custom just made for us, there was this big shot in Reebok who insisted that we have this, its not even released in the market. Probably it never would be.
Me: And an I-Pod too? Don't you get tired listening to people singing your praises?
He: I was not listening to gospels or hymns, I was just listening to regular movie songs. They all sound the same: a noise. I don't know why you people go ga-ga over such stuff?
Me: Well that's what we mere mortals are all about, we love to go bonkers on mediocrity and anything that has been hyped up.
He: Anyway, how are things with you? Its been three years, a lot has happened and a lot has changed eh?
Me: A helluva lot has happened, you know it better than anyone else.
A lot had happened in three years, I made new friends, lost old friend(s), had a plethora of crushes, got an earful for confessing a couple of them, had some new additions in the family, bid a tearful adieu to a member of the family, had my faith shaken, planned for a future, saw those plans getting altered as every week passed, got a first job where I thought I would stick it out for some time but a better offer came up and changed jobs with the blink of an eye. Its a fast-food world and everything happens at a breakneck speed, Life has been moving at a crazy pace and has left me catching for my breath.
He: Yeah, but the whole point of this meet is to hear you speak up. You haven't been speaking that much lately.
Me: Have I ever? Everything is happening too fast, and Iam growing up too fast, and the only people among whom I could be me are either settled in far off places or are too immersed in their work. A good old friend of mine from college is working in the same office as mine, she is sitting hardly fifteen feet away from me and yet I get to spend only fifteen minutes with her in the whole day.
He: Aren't you happy with your job?
Me: Iam content, "happy" is too strong a word, Iam content with what I've got, something is better than nothing. We can never be happy. You made us that way remember?
He: Yeah, blame it all on me you little twat! Cause that's what you been doing all your life, you make all the mistakes and you blame others for it. You always ask others "How is life treating ya?", its not about how life treats you, its about how you treat life. You can choose to be happy or you can choose to be a prick grumbling for everything that does not come your way.
I turned away from him feeling bad for shooting my mouth off at him, and there was a bit of.... well, there was a lot of truth to what he said. He nudged me slightly and said "Forget it, I get blamed for everything, from failing in exams to not getting a ticket for a much awaited movie, everybody just blames me. I guess it comes with the job."
Me: But people are even thankful to you when you make things happen for them right? They celebrate your birthdays and what-not, they adorn you with costly ornaments and donate money and ridiculously costly things which only money can buy.
He: Let me ask you something, do you really believe that I exist? Do you believe that faith can really move mountains and that prayer can change the world and heal your wounds?
Me: I don't know, maybe its just that Iam programmed to believe whatever is being preached. Its like a media circus, you have to believe whatever is being said if it is said with a lot of chest thumping.
He: I really don't exist, I was the most simplest of human emotions and Man has just given me different names with different modes of appeasing me. He has used my name to create a multi-billion dollar industry, I don't go by Rama, Krishna, Allah or Jesus. I have no shape, no form, no face, no super powers, I am no super human. You people are just naive and you buy whatever is sold to you in a neat and glittering package. And that's what they have reduce me to- a commodity, Iam like a box of assorted Swiss chocolates, I come in a glossy package, Iam priced high and yet I have the same taste as any candy you buy from some small shop.
Me: What are you then?
He: When you pray to me, say like when you prayed that your exam should go well, did you just say to yourself "Now that I've prayed, I dont have to study, God shall take care of my paper"?
Me: No, I studied for my exams. If not too hard atleast I worked a little bit for it.
He: Then what was the prayer for? You might as well have studied without praying.
Me: I prayed because that would give me a little hope, a hope that would make me believe that I am not gonna mess up.
He: Thats what Iam !! Iam Hope! the simplest of human emotions, and yet people think of me as some supersonic ass kicker who makes all your wishes come true. I dont make your wishes come true, I just give you the Hope that everything is gonna be alright. And you get that Hope when you have prayed to me, a short and sweet prayer that gives you the strength to go about your business. Hope is like the wind that tries to give a direction to your sail, it is YOU who is in charge of the paddles, and it is YOU who's gotta steer your boat, Hope just gives you the strength. Anyway enough of this mumbo-jumbo, we are here to talk about you. How is the work place?
Me: The atmosphere is great, work is hectic, Iam made to work for every penny that is paid to me. I try not to screw-up at work, but you know me, I unintentionally screw up everything I lay my hands on.
He: And how are the chicas ?
Me: Man its a babe station out there! I like to call it as Babe-a-lore. You have created some fine creations out there.
He: Thank you very much, it must be hard for you to try not to act like a jerk out there isn't it?
Me: Yeah its kind of tough though, they all think of me as some kind of geek I think.
He: Well what do they know, guys like you are the most dangerous types of my creation. Geeks on the outside and I-know-what on the inside. Anyway, I've been reading your blog.
Me: Wow! and I thought only my Dad and bro were the only people who used to go through that. What do you think of it?
He: Word of advice: If you are trying to be a chick magnet just by writing blogs, try not to write about gross stuff like pissing, I enjoyed it a lot, it was funny, but the women folk were offended.
Me: Jeez! its a free world the cyber world! Its an outlet for expressing myself out there man. I cant please everyone, Iam not you.
He: Stop taking a dig at me boy, anyhow are you adjusting to the fact that you are not in college anymore?
Me: Its quite tough, Iam missing those carefree days which I spent at college, and I haven't been in touch with my friends, I don't know how they are, what they are doing. A face to face meeting is a thing of luxury now. We inquire about each other's well being through an sms, or a ping at g-talk if we ever get the time. We convey our emotions through smileys now, can you believe that, a frigging emoticon lets us and others know what we feel. That's what they are an emoti-con, they con us and others of our emotions. The good ol' days of meeting up at canteen and pranks being played, rumors being spread are gone.
He: Its a phase of life which everyone goes through, give it some time and you'll get used to it.
Me: Yeah, I dont even have a choice now do I? Apart from getting used to it.
He: Everyone goes through this phase, and as you move on you will find newer responsibilities and new reasons to cheer about.Okay Kid, I gotta go, I got some more mortals to meet and a date in the evening to get ready for.
Me: A date?
He: Yeah, I met this woman at a super market couple of days back. She seemed quite lonely, I guess she just needs someone to talk to.
Me: Does she know who you really are?
He: No, as far as she goes Iam just one of those rare breed of guys who is interested in sharing her problems. You should try being one too, instead of listening to some junk in your mp3 player try opening up to people, talk to them, they have a lot to say. You are so self involved with your mp3 and those headphones that it completely drowns the voices of your heart. Its okay if you ended up being a jerk, well atleast you tried.
Me: Yeah... alright, you have a good time. And you are not going as Robert Deniro are you?
He: (laughs) No way, I will go as a regular type another- face- in- the- crowd kinda guy.
Me: Catch you later Big Guy!
He: Cheers Kid! I will be watching you, better be good.
Me: I'll try.
As the first rays of the sun started to pierce through the slowly fading mist, I jogged my way home with a smile on my face and with a much lighter heart. I guess He is Everywhere. As the man who selflessly gives his seat to an elderly person at a crowded bus, as a friend who patiently listens to your story of your girlfriend dumping you and says "Chadd yaar! yeh nahi to koi aur sahi", as the father who dances with joy with you after his team wins a nail biting game, as the mother who packs food for you in the wee hours of the morning, as the brother who is the faithful guardian of your secrets. I feel He is within us, we are just too busy with our fast food lives that we fail to appreciate His presence within us.